Fake Mailbag #2

As always, these are completely fake emails definitely not written by actual readers...

Ethan, the suspense is killing me. Screw that Wes Anderson, what did you think of Lost!?! - Carlton, LA

Loved it. It felt great to have it back in my life. I watched the "previously on Lost" hour that preceded the premiere and I was pretty amped when the show finally started. I'm going to do this rambling style...

- So the bomb did work, in some sense, and there is an alternate timeline kind of thing. Are we so sure that the world doesn't now have two Jacks and Sawyers and Kates? If this is, in fact, an entirely different timeline in another dimension, it'll be tricky to combine them or have some sort of cross-over. Though if there's any way to top time travel, it's alternate dimensions and co-existing timelines.

- I'm not terribly surprised we didn't see Michael and Walt in the new place sequences. I have a feeling Walt would've looked a little different this time around.

- New timeline Charlie is a real ass. How was Jack supposed to know you wanted to die!? I liked Charlie a lot more when he was sacrificing himself in underwater Dharma stations.

- Wait...so Hurley and Miles can both see dead people? Has that always been Hurley's problem or were some of those times him just being crazy?

- I want someone to catalog all the encounters that island-folk have had with the black smoke now that we know what it is.

- Is the island Atlantis? Is that what the foot at the bottom of the ocean could imply? And I realize that the foot at the bottom of the ocean seems to suggest there are two timelines...unless it's not the same foot.

- As for that bottom of the ocean sequence, those effects were laaammmmeee. It looked like a crappy computer game.

- Who are these new others? Are these the same others but with a different sense of style? Have we seen that stewardess-other before? I mean, I know we have, but where? There's a lot to remember in this show.

- Jacob is inside Sayid's body. That's my guess anyway.

I probably forgot a couple of other things I wanted to mention. We'll touch base with Lost next week probably.

This top 10 movies thing is off to a roaring start. One repeat post and then two days later you're already on to something else? Sheesh. - Horatio, Vancouver

Easy tiger. I'll be back with #8 for the next entry. Furthermore, Horatio, how did you send me that email before I even posted this blog?

Did you catch the Grammys on Sunday? I know you love music so that must be like your Superbowl! - Nikki, Tucson

Didn't watch a second of it. The Superbowl is my Superbowl. As I've mentioned before, the Grammys are really, really stupid.

How many Grammys did Led Zeppelin win? Zero.

How many Grammys does Kings of Leon have? Five. Or something like that. I don't care.

How many times better is Zeppelin than Kings of Leon? Like, a million. Literally, they are a million times better.

Zeppelin did get a "Lifetime Achievement Grammy" which is basically an admission of, "Whoops. I guess we weren't paying attention for the last couple decades. Take this and we'll pretend we've always appreciated you." This would be like Michael Jordan not winning any MVP awards as a player (losing to Christian Laettner, and Christian, I apologize for comparing you to Kings of Leon) and then David Stern giving MJ some sort of gold star in 2006.

As my quasi-idol Bill Simmons said, the Grammys are "out of touch." I agree with that, but I think it's more that the big record labels love to just pat themselves on the back and reward (in general) the most famous musicians.

At least Stephen Colbert won a Grammy. That was pretty funny.

And at least the Oscars are coming up...where the 47th best movie of the year is going to win Best Picture.

Sigh...

Are you going to watch the Superbowl on Sunday? I know you love sports so that must include, like, the Superbowl. - Veronica, Juneau

That sounds like a decent way to spend a Sunday. I really hope the Saints win, because it would be great for NO and I like Drew Brees, but also because if the Colts win then they'll complete a virtually perfect season, in which they only lost when they didn't play their starters, and that will further diminish the accomplishments of the 07 Pats.

That said, I don't see how the Colts don't win. Manning is on fire these days and I don't see the Saints stopping him enough to win, especially if their offense is as hot and cold as it was last week. We'll see. Maybe I'll get pleasantly surprised.

My pick: Colts 34, Saints 24

My hope: Saints 45, Colts 44

Now that you live in Hollywood got any exciting movie tips or gossip to tell us? - Bertly, New Haven

I read Alan Sorkin's script for The Social Network a couple of weeks ago. It's a film about the founding of Facebook starring Jesse Eisenberg (from Zombieland, The Squid and the Whale, Adventureland) and some/much of the film was shot at my old school, Johns Hopkins. The script is excellent. Really, really good. The story is actually full of intrigue and deceit, and Mark Zuckerberg (the founder) ends up with two different multi-million dollar lawsuits against him. This film has joined Inception and Toy Story 3 as the most-antcipated films of the year for me.

No more mailbags! - Nigel, London

Sorry, Nigel, no deal. You big baby. But I'll at least stop for today.

Back tomorrow/Saturday with movie #8.